Time To Redefine Haritalika Teej

 Traditionally, it is said that Teej is particularly a women's festival. I have been observing the celebration of this festival since my childhood. During this period, I have experienced a lot of changes. However, the mythology and definition related to Teej remain the same. Mythologically, Teej, also known as Haritalika Teej, is associated with Goddess Parvati. To cut a long story short, Parvati was in deep love with God Shiva, so she wanted him as her husband. For this, she went to a forest and performed penance and fasted for many days. Eventually, her wish was fulfilled. Since then, Hindu women started to fast on the occasion of Teej, praying to Lord Shiva to find a husband like him. This story suits the unmarried girls, so the married women fast for the longevity and prosperity of their husbands. I think we have to test the truth of this story at present.

By definition also Teej is associated with women. It is celebrated in some parts of India and Nepal. The Indian people celebrate the festival in their way, but in the context of Nepal, it should be celebrated for two days - 'Dar day' and 'Teej day.' In the past, Teej was celebrated just like this. The married women used to be invited to their maternal home for a big celebration. It was a time of reunion with their relatives and friends. The women would feel free from the domination of their mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law at the husband's home. They would gather together and eat different kinds of delicious food on the Dar day and they would fast, worship Lord Shiva, sing and dance as a Teej celebration.

Teej songs

Now the time has changed completely, and so has the way Teej is celebrated.  Then why define it in the same way as it was in the old days? When Teej approaches, there come different Teej songs in the market. These songs also reflect the society of the particular time. In my mother's generation, women used to sing sangini to express their feelings. The first commercial song that I heard was 'Teejako rahar ayo bari lai...' from a Nepali movie 'Kanyadan', which was released in 1991. This song explains the condition of Nepali women at that time, such as '...birsera ajalai karkare sasu, amaju nandale dieka aashu...' This song has very little or no implication in today's society. After this song, there came countless Teej songs which express women's sorrows, happiness, freedom, rights, or their empowerment.

 But in most of the songs, only women are highlighted. I wonder why it is so. On the one hand, we talk about gender balance, and on the other, we segregate ourselves in the women's sect on occasions like Teej. The popular singer Durgesh Thapa may also have realised this inequality between men and women, so he wrote and sang a song 'Hami pani nachnu parchha bicha bichama...' five or six years ago. Durgesh has tried to be inclusive through this song, which is a high demand of contemporary society.

The scenario of the Teej celebration has massively changed these days, particularly in the urban and suburban areas. The two-day celebration has been extended to two months. Many people complain about this; I am also on the same page. But nobody can do anything because this change is inevitable, as the condition of women is not the same as in the past years. Earlier, most women were housewives who would always be looking forward to opportunities to come out of the house. Teej would provide them with such an opportunity to go to their maternal home to celebrate the festival. 

On the contrary, these days women are affiliated with one or another institution; some even have their affiliation with multiple institutions. Because of this, a trend has been developed to have the Dar party only one day is not enough. In addition, the women of this age are not dying to visit their maternal home in search of freedom. They have already been free from their in-laws' domination because they either earn their own money by doing one or another sort of job or their husband is in the foreign employment. 

Thinking critically

When it comes to fasting, most of the women these days do not fast as strictly as women used to in the old days, when they used to fast without even drinking water. This cannot be possible these days. Because of different health issues, abstaining from food for an extended period has become risky. Furthermore, the women have become capable of thinking critically, and they do not believe that their one-day fasting brings longevity to their husbands. They simply fast and worship Lord Shiva for the welfare of the family or their mental peace. 

Anybody can do this regardless of being a man or a woman. A lot of men have also started to fast on the  day of Teej. Therefore, it is not a good idea to attach Teej only to women. There must be an equal participation of men and women in Dar parties, Teej fasting, singing or dancing. After all, Durgesh Thapa is right when he sings 'Didi baini matrai nachchhan jaile pani Teejama. Hami pani nachnu parchha bichcha bichchama....' In my opinion, Teej should be redefined as it is a festival of all Hindu people instead of defining it as a festival of women alone. 

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, August 21, 2025 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired so.]

   

 

Potential Pitfalls Of Grade Skipping

 Particularly in my community, a bizarre trend has developed among the parents. Towards the end of an academic year in schools, especially private ones, there comes parental pressure for grade skipping. When they come to school to collect their children's results, many of them demand that their child be promoted from grade one to grade three or from grade five to grade seven. When asked for reasons, all of them have a typical response, "They are overage," which cannot be true. 

The children's age is just right for the grade where they are promoted by the school. The parents insist that their children can cope with the situation. They even agree to assist their children in studies but unfortunately, most of them will not. 

 When I pass through the school corridor, I overhear them chatting with each other, which brings out the real reason for their intense desire behind their children's grade skipping. It is related to money. According to these parents, it is a waste of money; if they make their children skip a grade, they can save the money of an entire year.  If you are sending your child to a private school for better education, it does not make any sense that you want to save petty money by risking the child's holistic development. 

Adverse effects 

Yes, there is a provision of grade skipping in the education system worldwide; for this, certain criteria should be met. It is sad to say that the insistent parents do not want to hear about all this. It seems that they are unaware of the adverse effects of grade skipping on their children's lives. Some students are gifted, and they show exceptional academic abilities. However, only academic excellence may not be enough to skip a grade. In addition, they must have excellent social skills and emotional development. Such students can cope with the challenges that they encounter at a higher grade level. They are ready to handle the situations at the upper grade. 

Once these students are identified, the principal, teachers, and parents sit together and decide whether to allow the exceptional students to skip a grade. There is no doubt, the academically advanced students can benefit from grade skipping. The available research also shows that grade skipping is in favour of the exceptional learners. For example, James Kulik, who has studied for more than twenty-five years how gifted children fare in schools, says that acceleration makes a huge difference in the academic achievement of bright students.

Unfortunately, this is not the case in the schools of our community. It is only parents who make a decision for their children's grade acceleration and they are not necessarily the gifted ones. The poor children have to pay a huge price for their parents' unwise decision. Therefore, the parents must be aware of the potential drawbacks associated with grade skipping.

First of all, there is a knowledge gap. As students skip a whole year, they cannot relate the content they have already learned in their earlier grade to the content of the new grade because the sequence of the course content will have already been broken down. To make this up, they have to work for extra hours, which obviously will increase their workload in comparison to their peers. Because of this, they may lose interest in their studies forever.  Once brilliant students in the previous grades will turn out to be just average students in most cases. In other words, they may not excel to the fullest in the upper grades. Surely, the parents do not want this.

Another factor to consider is that the grade skippers may face social and emotional challenges. As they need to mix with older students, they may find it uncomfortable and they prefer to be isolated. This develops the feeling of loneliness in them. Sometimes, the grade-skipped students can be the victims of bullying for being younger or different. They become emotionally weak and avoid taking challenging tasks because of the fear of failure. Thirdly, finding themselves unfit in the group of older students, the grade skippers may develop inappropriate behaviour, such as arrogance, tantrums, lying, stealing, kicking, bullying, using swear words and so on.  Gradually, they become uncontrollable, which will become a headache for teachers and parents as well.

Holistic development

Now it is clear that grade skipping is not an option for all students. A handful of children who are exceptional in academic, social and emotional advancement can skip a grade and it will be a blessing for them. In other cases, it is safe to upgrade students according to their age level and grade level. Many educators also agree that keeping a child with their age group is the safest way to go. In her article 'Pros and Cons of Skipping a Grade,' Connie Matthiessen, a San Francisco writer and editor, mentions that one of her coworkers always regretted skipping first grade. So he suggested, "Childhood is short enough as it is. Why hurry kids any more than you need to?"

My dear parents, when you go to your child's school next time with a proposal of grade skipping, please think through all the advantages and disadvantages of your proposal. The school principal and your child's teachers may be more knowledgeable and concerned than you regarding the child's holistic development. So, do not forget to consult with them whether it is a good idea for your son or daughter to skip a grade.  

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, August 8, 2025 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired so.]

   

 

Stars Shine Within All

 In the course of reading books, there are several moments in my life when I wish the book I was reading would never reach an end. Recently, the same happened while I was watching Amir Khan's movie Sitaare Zameen Par. Amir Khan, a renowned Bollywood actor and social activist, is famous for making hit films with a social message, particularly in the later years of his acting career. Such movies include Taare Zameen Par, Dangal, Secret Superstar, and many more.

Be it a good book, movie, or piece of art, it gives the connoisseur a feeling of contentment. Such a good piece of art elevates people's minds to some extent, and good feelings linger for a long time. That is what happened to me when I watched Sitaare Jamin Par. Though the film's subplots are picked from everyday life, they are remarkable and carry a deep meaning between the lines.    

According to different media reports, Khan had quit the film industry after doing the film Laal Singh Chaddha in 2022. But when he heard the script of  Sitaare Zameen Par, he could not keep his promise. So, he had his grand comeback to the industry with this movie. Sitaare Zameen Par has raised different social issues. However, the subject of Down syndrome and autism is the most highlighted one. Down syndrome is a genetic condition of people, whereas autism is a neurodevelopmental condition. We have to keep in mind that they are not diseases at all. Both conditions can cause developmental delays and affect individuals in various ways. The problem is that the so-called normal people in our society discriminate against individuals with down syndrome or autism and consider them abnormal, which is nothing but their ignorance.

The film's main character, Gulshan Arora, played by Amir Khan, is a basketball coach. As a person, he is arrogant and ill-tempered. He loves to confront everybody. Because of his hostile behaviour, he is suspended from his job. As a community service, he is unexpectedly assigned to train a mentally challenged group of basketball players for three months. Mr. Arora's gradual behavioural and thinking pattern transformation begins from here. In the beginning, he grumbles that those players are good for nothing. He even used to mock them. But slowly, his perception of them starts changing. Arora realizes that people with Down syndrome or autism are also normal human beings in their ways. They have their strengths, weaknesses, emotions, and fears like others. Here we can apply the theory of 'multiple intelligences.' This theory was proposed by the psychologist Howard Gardner in 1983. It suggests that human intelligence is not a single entity that traditional IQ tests can measure, but rather a complex interplay of abilities. Gardner poses eight types of intelligence, and every individual has at least one or more than one intelligence in them, so intellectually challenged people are also not an exception.

Arora was there to train the notable players, but he learns many life lessons from them. He even feels belittled by them when it comes to sharing love, happiness, and sensitivity. This part is very emotional.

Apart from the issue of mentally challenged people, the movie raised another issue related to a complicated relationship between a husband and a wife in contemporary society. Genelia D'Souza has played the role of Sunita, Gulshan's wife. Both Gulshan and Sunita are in their worlds. Although they love each other deeply, they do not live in the same place because of specific differences. Gulshan moves out to his mother's house to keep the peace. When Gulshan becomes more understanding in the company of his trainee basketball players, Sitaare, his relationship with Sunita also starts improving. 

The film shows the problem of older adults, particularly when they lose their spouse and are forced to live alone. In such a situation, they find it hard to spend the rest of their lives alone. They need a partner. In the Western world, choosing a partner at any age is fine, but it is unusual in our society. In most cases, the parents cannot openly spell out their need for a partner to their grown-up children because the children do not usually accept it. So, they have to keep their relationship a secret. This situation is portrayed beautifully in Sitaare Zameen Par.

Combining several social issues into different layers, this movie entertains the audience. At the same time, it educates them as well. More than anything else, it teaches them to be sympathetic, sensitive, lovable, considerate, and patient with mentally challenged people. They are also valuable members of society, so they should not be discriminated against or ostracized based on their limitations. If they are treated nicely and encouraged to work on their strengths, they can achieve their goals like any other mentally sound people.

Sitaare Zameen Par is said to be a spiritual successor to Amir Khan's 2007 hit movie Taare Zameen Par, which raised the subject of dyslexia. Sitaare Zameen Par is based on the 2018 Spanish movie Champions by Javier Fesser. This film is recommended for its entertainment value and thought-provoking content.

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, July  25, 2025 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired so.]

निर्जला

 वर्तमान समयमा दमकको साहित्यिक आकाशमा उदाएको एउटा नाम हो— टंक प्रसाद पाठक । सेवानिबृत्त शिक्षक भए पनि साहित्य जगतमा उनी बैशालु युवा जस्ता प्रमाणित हुदै आएका छन् ।  २०७८ सालमा उनको पहिलो कविता संग्रह प्रकाशित भएको थियो— 'भावनाका फूलहरू' । त्यो कृतिको विमोचन कार्यक्रमको साक्षी हुने मौका मैले पनि पाएकी थिएँ । कवि पाठकलाई चुनौती दिँदै डा. गोविन्दराज भट्टराईले “हेर्नुहोस् है पाठकजी, तपाईंले अब प्रत्येक वर्ष एउटा कृति प्रकाशित गर्नुभएछ भने तपाईंलाई पत्याउँला नत्र एउटा आवेशमा आएर यो कविता संग्रह प्रकाशित गर्नुभएको रहेछ भन्ने संझौला,” भन्नुभएको थियो । त्यो चुनौतीलाई सहर्ष स्वीकार गर्दै अहिले आफ्नो तेस्रो कृति ‘निर्जला’ उपन्यास पाठकले हामीलाई दिएका छन् ।

            उनका कविताको रसास्वादन हामीले गरिसकेका छौँ । विषेश गरेर उनको ‘नजौ छोरा...’ भन्ने कविता प्रायः साहित्यिक कार्यक्रमहरुमा कविको भारीभरकम स्वरमा गुन्जिने गर्छ । कविको रुपमा स्थापित भैसकेका पाठकको आख्यानमा पनि उत्तिकै सशक्त रुपमा कलम चल्दोरहेछ भन्ने कुराको प्रमाण यो उपन्यास हो ।

            यो कृतिको शीर्षकबाटै थाहा हुन्छ उपन्यास यसकी प्रमुख पात्र निर्जलाकै वरिपरि घुमेको छ । त्यसैले यसलाई नारीप्रधान उपन्यास भन्न मिल्छ । यो उपन्यासको विषयवस्तु भनेको प्रेम नै हो । तर प्रमुख पात्रहरु हरि र निर्जलाको प्रेम सलल बगेको छैन; यो अलि क्लिष्ट छ , जिन्दगी जस्तै । यो क्लिष्टतालाई मनोवैज्ञानिक तरिकाले व्याख्या गर्न सकिन्छ ।  नायिका निर्जला आफ्नो प्रेममा प्रष्ट भए पनि नायक हरि भने अलि द्वैध चरित्रको देखिन्छ । ऊ सबै प्रतिकूल परिस्थितिको दोष निर्जलामाथि थोपर्छ र परिस्थिति अनुकूल भएपछि भने त्यही प्रेमको डङ्का पिट्छ तर कहिल्यै निर्जलाको सामना भने गर्दैन । ऊ सधैँ निर्जलासँग भागी भागी हिँड्छ । उपन्यासकै पात्रले पनि हरिको चरित्रलाई यसरी व्याख्या गरेका छन् —“त्यो हरे भनेको नामर्द मुला ।”...“झन् आमा बाबु मरेपछि त बौलाहा जस्तो भएको थियो । आँट हिम्मत र गरीखाने भए घर छोडेर हिँड्छ र कोही ?” (पृ. ८०)

            हरिलाई एकोहोरो प्रेम गर्नुबाहेक निर्जला सधैँ आफूलाई स्वाभलम्बी  बनाउन खोजिरहन्छे । त्यसैले उसलाई नारी सशक्तिकरणको उदाहरणका रुपमा पनि लिन सकिन्छ । हरिका अनुसार ऊ निर्जलाद्वारा बलात्कृत हुन्छ तर यसको मूल्य भने बलात्कारीले नै चुकाउनुपर्छ । उसलाई छोडेर भागेको प्रेमीको तडप र समाजको डरले गर्भवती निर्जला आफूलाई समाप्त पार्नेतिर लाग्दिन बरु कसरी आफ्नो र हुनेवाला बच्चाको रक्षा गर्न सकिन्छ भन्नेतिर लाग्छे र घर छोडेरै आफ्नो संघर्षपूर्ण जीवनमा होमिन्छे । अनेक दुःख कष्ट पार गर्दै ऊ आफ्नो खुट्टामा उभिन सफल हुन्छे । हरि पनि एक किसिमले त सफल नै हुन्छ तर ऊ सधैँ आफ्नै स्वार्थ र कायरताले डोरिएको छ । यो एउटा वियोगान्त उपन्यास हो ।

            प्रेम र वियोगबाहेक यो उपन्यासमा अरु पनि धेरै पक्ष छन् । सर्वप्रथम त यसलाई एक आञ्चलिक कृतिको रुपमा लिन सकिन्छ । यसको परिवेश कोशी प्रदेशकै विभिन्न ठाउँहरु छन् । मुख्य सेरोफेरो भनेको दमक र यसकै वरिपरिका स्थल छन् । यो क्षेत्रका मानिसको जीवनशैलीलाई पनि उपन्यासले दर्शाएको छ । यहाँ ठाउँ ठाउँमा पूर्वीय जीवन दर्शन भेटिन्छ । मानिसको जन्म किन भयो ? म कहाँबाट आएँ ? मानव जीवनमा गर्नुपर्ने कार्य के के हुन् ? म के गर्न आएँ ? मेरो अन्त्य कसरी हुन्छ ? अन्त्यपछि म कहाँ जान्छु ? (पृ. ४४–४५) जस्ता प्रश्नहरु यहाँ उठाइएको छ । त्यसैगरि अर्को प्रसंगमा निर्जला भन्छे, “म जन्मँदा एक्लै थिएँ मर्दा पनि एक्लै हुने भएकीले यो संसारमा एक्लै रहिरहने छु भन्ने मैले निश्चय गरेकी छु” (पृ. ८२) । लेखकको झुकाव गीत संगीत तथा कवितातिर पनि भएकोले बीचबीचमा गीतका र कविताका टुक्रा प्रशस्तै भेटिन्छन् । त्यसैगरि यो उपन्यासले हाम्रो सामाजिक अवस्थालाई दर्शाएको छ । आफ्नै परिवारमा पनि धनी र गरीब बीचको खाडल कति छ भन्ने कुरा यहाँ छर्लङ्ख देखिन्छ ।

            ‘निर्जला’ उपन्यासमा वर्णित घटनाहरु जस्तै— १२ कक्षा सकेपछि युवाहरु विदेशिने, भारतीय नागरीकलाई नागरिकता दिइने, हर्क साङ्पाङ् मेयर भएको, ललिता निवास कान्ड, भुटानी शरणार्थी काण्ड इत्यादिले तत्कालिन समयकै सेरोफेरोमा यो उपन्यास लेखिएको हो भन्ने प्रष्ट  हुन्छ । तर यहाँका पात्रहरुको जीवनशैली भने पुरानै समयको जस्तो लाग्छ । शायद लेखकले आफू  युवा हुँदाकै समयको कुरा त गरिरहेका छैनन् भन्ने भान पर्छ पाठकलाई बेलाबेलै । यसैगरि धेरैजसो पात्रका नाम पुरानै समयका छन् ।

            उपन्यासको कथावस्तु रोचक भैकन पनि सम्पादन पक्ष अलि फितलो भएकोले भाषागत समस्या (शुद्धाशुद्धी) का साथै कतिपय स्थानमा अर्थको अनर्थ पनि लागेको छ । जस्तै, “चराका बथानहरु आकातिर (हुनुपर्ने आकाश) बाङ्गोटिङ्गो गर्दै क्षितिज पार गर्दै बिलाउँदै जान्थे...” (पृ.१) । अर्को प्रसंगमा  “तोरीबारी पश्चिम उत्तरपट्टि बक्राहा खोला छेउमा पुग्दा उनी गलेर लखतरान भए । फुँडी (हुनुपर्ने खुँडी) भन्ने पिकनिक स्पोर्ट नजिकै थियो...(पृ.४१)” ।

            मलाई लेखकसँग सोध्न मन लागेको कुराचाहिँ यहाँ हरिका सबै सहपाठीको पूरा नाम लिइएको छ र उनीहरुलाई तिमी भनी सम्बोधन गरिएको छ । तर एउटा पात्र हर्केलाई चाहिँ सधैँ हर्के नै भनिएको छ र तँ भनी सम्बोधन गरिएको छ । किन यस्तो भएको होला ? कतै यो पात्र उपन्यासकारकै विद्यार्थी जीवनको एक खल पात्र त होइन ? त्यसैले उनले यो उपन्यासमार्फत नै त्यो पात्रसँग रिस फेरेका हुन् ? भन्नेजस्ता प्रश्न मेरो मनमा उब्जिएका थिए  ।

समग्रमा उपन्यास राम्रो छ; अर्को संस्करणमा यसलाई मिहीन तरिकाले सम्पादन गरेर प्रकाशित गरियो भने यसको मूल्य र स्तरीयता अझ बढ्नेछ ।