We love words of praise irrespective of the truth they carry. However, we need great courage to find out if we are addicted to such words of validation. Recently, a gentleman called me and asked in an excited tone if I had read an article he had published in a magazine. I wondered how I could access the magazine which was not readily available on the market. To console him, however, I thanked him for his wonderful deed and I promised to read his article. To my dismay, the man immediately offered to come to my place with the magazine.
He read out the nearly five page long article in a breath and asked how it was. I could clearly sense that he was not ready to take any criticism at that time; instead he wanted to hear all the good stuff Hunger For Praise
about him and his writing. The gentleman is just an example. The majority of people in our society have a hunger for praise. They do not want to hear anything against them or their work. A long time ago I read a story about a king.
All that king wanted was to hear good things about him. So, he had appointed a group of people whose job was to simply praise the king from morning to evening and they got paid for that. Although those people knew the king was cruel and his citizens did not like him they had to say how generous the king was and how dearly people would love him. Eventually, his ‘admirers’ got fed up with their fake job and decided to forsake the king.
The king waited for them impatiently the whole morning but when none of them appeared even until the afternoon, the king was furious and started to inquire about them but unfortunately nobody could tell him their whereabouts. Gradually, the king’s condition began to deteriorate; he lost interest in everything; he would lock himself inside his suite the whole day. He stopped talking to people and soon the poor king died.
This way, the hunger for praise can be very dangerous. Why don’t people understand that healthy criticism is much better for them in comparison to incessant praise? They cannot tackle their weaknesses easily. They think that whatever they do is the best and they continuously look for others’ approval for that.
As long as such people are surrounded by bootlickers they believe that these people will never leave them alone but when they become powerless their so-called fans disappear within no time and their condition may be like that of the king.
If someone really produces a good body of work, this will shine sooner or later; they do not need to seek others’ approval for this. On the other hand, you should be careful of those who always extend comforting words to you; doing this they most probably have their vested interest of taking advantages from you and when they realise you are not of any use to them they will change their route.
Instead of paying too much attention towards other people’s approval if one is focused on their work, and developing their confidence through a habit of taking criticism positively, life becomes a lot easier. Observing the gentleman above, I came to this conclusion.
He read out the nearly five page long article in a breath and asked how it was. I could clearly sense that he was not ready to take any criticism at that time; instead he wanted to hear all the good stuff Hunger For Praise
about him and his writing. The gentleman is just an example. The majority of people in our society have a hunger for praise. They do not want to hear anything against them or their work. A long time ago I read a story about a king.
All that king wanted was to hear good things about him. So, he had appointed a group of people whose job was to simply praise the king from morning to evening and they got paid for that. Although those people knew the king was cruel and his citizens did not like him they had to say how generous the king was and how dearly people would love him. Eventually, his ‘admirers’ got fed up with their fake job and decided to forsake the king.
The king waited for them impatiently the whole morning but when none of them appeared even until the afternoon, the king was furious and started to inquire about them but unfortunately nobody could tell him their whereabouts. Gradually, the king’s condition began to deteriorate; he lost interest in everything; he would lock himself inside his suite the whole day. He stopped talking to people and soon the poor king died.
This way, the hunger for praise can be very dangerous. Why don’t people understand that healthy criticism is much better for them in comparison to incessant praise? They cannot tackle their weaknesses easily. They think that whatever they do is the best and they continuously look for others’ approval for that.
As long as such people are surrounded by bootlickers they believe that these people will never leave them alone but when they become powerless their so-called fans disappear within no time and their condition may be like that of the king.
If someone really produces a good body of work, this will shine sooner or later; they do not need to seek others’ approval for this. On the other hand, you should be careful of those who always extend comforting words to you; doing this they most probably have their vested interest of taking advantages from you and when they realise you are not of any use to them they will change their route.
Instead of paying too much attention towards other people’s approval if one is focused on their work, and developing their confidence through a habit of taking criticism positively, life becomes a lot easier. Observing the gentleman above, I came to this conclusion.
(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, Sept. 22, 2017 )
[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired so.]
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I would appreciate any and all suggestions on making improvements (as long as they are viable).