Encountering Death

It happens when you least expect and no matter how old your loved one is, when they die you are always caught by surprise – I read this somewhere and I related quite strongly to this saying once again (the same happened two times before when I lost my parents within a time span of 15 months) a couple of weeks ago.

The day was as ordinary as the earlier ones and my mother-in-law was in a jolly mood. I chatted with her for nearly two hours that afternoon. Her health was also in a stable condition. Four months ago we had nearly lost her; but her strong willpower helped her to survive a massive heart attack at that time.

She had a lot of stories to share with us which were from different places in Nepal and Bhutan where she travelled with her family in search of a better life, particularly for her children.

Being a working woman, I could not afford to spend a lot of time at home but whenever possible I would sit with her to listen to her recounts and the very day she would leave us, we were oblivious about the upcoming death; we were simply going about our day and having fun with her.

It was half past ten at night and she did not feel so good; because of complications with her heart, she would usually get impatient during nights, so we failed to give other thoughts to her long cough; after half an hour she was no more. It was like a nightmare and I found it very hard to accept this reality. No matter how much I tried not to believe that my mother-in-law was not with us any longer I could not reverse this truth.

On the one hand I was shocked and on the other surprised. I had never experienced death so closely being physically present. What surprised me more was that death could come that easily. My mother-in-law was speaking and we, family members, had gathered around expecting her to get better soon but God had different plans for her. Secondly, normally I would not go near dead people; if I saw someone's funeral procession a kind of chill feeling would run throughout my body but my mother-in-law's lying body did not give me any such feelings. I went near to her, observed her peaceful face and even touched her. At that moment I realised that if you are emotionally attached to someone you do not hesitate to be with their dead body too.

My mother-in-law's sudden death made the statement, "Live like each day is the final day of your life," more real and meaningful. I started to think, "What would one do if he knew that he was going to die that very day?" Clearly, he would not keep ill feelings towards others. He would drop all negativities, such as anger, greed, jealousy, hatred and so on. His heart would be full of nothing but love. How wonderful it would be if we were free from all negative thoughts and feelings and would internalise peace, beauty and all the love available in this universe?

Is it possible? I would say, yes, of course. We all know that we will definitely die one day, if not today. So, why waste our precious time engaging in the things that we generally don't like or enjoy? 

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, June 1, 2018 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired ]