Identity Crisis

Reading any success story of a woman, especially from a social background like ours where women are deprived of equal rights, can be an inspiration. Not before long, the Gorkhapatra daily published an interview of a struggling woman where she was described as a celebrated figure in the field of literature and music. A number of awards that she bagged during  the course of her endeavor also proved her success. Her achievements were enough to identify the woman but what the interviewer pointed out intentionally about her was, above all, 'she is the wife of a renowned politician.' It seemed as if without her husband's addition, her identification were incomplete.

It is just an example. In reality all Nepali women have been facing identity crisis, both socially and legally. Immediately after a woman gets married, she has to discard her surname, a temporary legacy from her father, and use her husband's but the husband lives his identity from birth to death. She obtains the citizenship, the most authentic identification, only if she can supply her father's or husband's name. It is ridiculous that a mother, who gives birth to children and fulfills the responsibilities of raising them, is regarded unacceptable while acquiring their citizenship certificate. In addition, a husband and a wife are considered 'better half' to each other; so if she needs her husband's name to execute any legal procedure, why doesn't the husband need his wife's name for the same?

Replying to a query, whether she was happy to be identified by her husband, a housewife in a vernacular weekly said," Yes, why not? We are living in such a society where women are not recognized by themselves, for example, a female lecturer is addressed as a 'lecturnee.' So, for a woman like me who is not educated enough and devotes all her time inside a house, it is okay to be known by the husband's name."

Let alone the  ignorant lot, majority of the educated and conscious women have also been facing the same problem. They have spent all their precious years to shape themselves, to make  themselves in the pursuit of their goals but they are reluctant to expose their potential, instead they feel proud to be recognized by their husband, they always prefer to be shadows of their male counterpart. 

However, as a good sign, there are some women, who are successful to establish their identity through their own effort. In general, Nepali women are suffering from identity crisis. It is high time that  every woman must realize her own self-interest; before being a wife of someone else she is an independent individual, so she must know who she is, what she can contribute to  the society and feel proud of herself for being herself not someone's wife. 

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, April 14, 2006)

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired so.]