Life Is Too Precious To End By Oneself

 

Recently a bad news story entered our staff room, 'A girl studying in B.Ed. third year committed suicide!' Soon, I found who the girl was. She was one of my students whom I knew personally. It was very hard for me to accept her passing away. So, I contacted her best friend for confirmation. She sent me a long message explaining the incident,

'She got married to the man she liked after talking with him on the phone for two or three months. They got married in Chaitra. After their marriage, things changed in my friend’s house. Her family did not accept her husband, and everyone stopped talking to her much except for her grandmother. My friend's relationship was not good, not only with her parents but also with her in-laws. Her mother-in-law had started feeling uncomfortable because of the gossip in the community. She wasn’t happy with the daughter-in-law and didn’t talk to her openly. During Dashain, she and her husband were invited to her parents’ home. She stayed there with her family during Dashain and Tihar. Last Sunday, she returned to her husband’s house from her parents’ home. On Tuesday night, she talked to her grandmother from around 7:30 to 8:00 p.m. before going to bed. But around 1 a.m. that same night, her family got a call saying that their daughter was no more. I had talked to her on Monday evening. We had planned to go to Jhapa in a few days, and she told me she would return home in a day or two. I heard the heartbreaking news yesterday, while I was on my way to Jhapa. We still don’t know what really happened or why she passed away.'

 This message included a lot suspicious questions, however, the girl had written a suicide note where she had not blamed anyone for her death but only herself.

It was not merely my student but two other cases of suicide appeared in the mass media this month. A singer Neetu Paudel set fire on herself and lost her life. The news reports said that she had been in a romantic relationship for about seven years and the couple was having some kind of arguments on when or whether to get married. A similar case is with Janaki Khadka, a lower secondary mathematics teacher from Bajura. She also committed suicide due to an unsuccessful love affair. What is common in all these incidents is there is an involvement of love or marriage which claimed these young ladies' life. And these are only some examples; there may be several such cases.

Globally, what available research studies show is that generally young girls or women are more likely to attempt suicide because of failed love affairs or relationship problems, while young boys or men are more likely to die under the same circumstances. Because of this, comparatively male suicide death rate seems to be higher than the female suicide death rate. However, if we consider Nepal alone the scenario looks quite different. Research indicates that young girls have higher suicide rates than boys due to failed affairs or marital problems. The main reasons for this are recorded as cultural factors, economic factors or interpersonal factors. Nepal, still being a patriarchal society, the cultural factors play the most significant role here. Females have many restrictions to follow. All these factors may quickly lead them to hopelessness and eventually to a decision to end their life.

I think it is just a fraction of time between the suicidal thought and action itself. If somebody is available at that very moment to talk to, the fatal situation may be avoided. There is a beautiful story in this line. An American airman Irving was struggling with some mental health issue, so he was thinking of ending his life. His colleague Palacious noticed something was wrong with Irving. He asked his friend, 'There's that barbecue happening tomorrow. If I let you go home, am I going to see you there?' Irving promptly answered, 'No. If I go home, I'm going to kill myself.' Palacious immediately knew Irving could not be left alone. He called for help and saved his friend's life. Like Irving's there are other hundreds of inspirational stories of  suicide attempt survivors.

Life itself is uncertain and too short. At the same time it is much more precious than anything else. So, is it fair to terminate it by self? Every suicidal person is not as lucky as Irving to find a friend on the spot to save their life. What can be done in such a critical situation then? We all have our high and low times, helplessness and other sad feelings. We have to deal with them ourselves by utilizing the available tools. I think among such tools spirituality is the most powerful one. It teaches us the temporary nature of this physical world. If one can internalize the truth that nothing is permanent including their life, family, property, love, marriage, in short, everything, it will be easier for him to accept all the gifts that life offers. No matter how happy or sad the moments are they all pass like flitting thoughts.

According to Hinduism we get human life only after passing through many other life forms. It is said that we have to go through 8.4 million different forms to be a human again. With our good karmas we have become humans this time, so why not to live this life to the fullest before it perishes itself?

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, November 14, 2025 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired so.]

Heal the Aching Motherland

 

It has been more than one and a half month of the gen Z revolution, and general people's initial enthusiasm for change has gradually been fading away. They had expected the newly formed interim government would take an immediate action to punish those who were directly involved in the murder of more than 70 innocent people on the 8th and 9th of September. Unfortunately, there arose so many other issues to be addressed which blanketed the main issue of finding out the guilty people. This has created frustration in general public, and they are skeptical to get justice.

The current scenario of the country is full of uncertainties. There is no doubt that the government is trying its best to maintain normalcy but there are many challenges. In the first place, the council of ministers has not been complete yet and time is ticking out. More than this what is ridiculous is that several people who the Prime Minister recommends as minister to the President turn not to be with clean image. I think there must be extended research before taking any decision so that it should not be changed time and again. In addition, the process of selection could also be accelerated. Once the cabinet is full, then the government's sole focus would be on the main issues, which are to find out the guilty people involved in the mass massacre during the gen Z protest, to start working on anti-corruption and to hold elections successfully on time, i.e., on the 5th of March, 2026.

The government has formed a three-member probe commission headed by a former Supreme Court Judge Gauri Bahadur Karki to investigate everything related to gen Z protests and the commission has been given three months to complete the probe. I am hopeful that without being influenced by anything or anybody the commission has been working fairly to reach its goal.

The Nepali people are witnessing many unprecedented happenings during such a volatile situation of the country. Among them the most annoying thing that I am experiencing is that how people are spreading negativity using the social media platforms. They are posting fake news instigating awful comments. There is the use of foul language, swearing words and what not. 

Sadly, the same bad language used in the cyber world has come to the real world as well. It seems as if the Nepali people use this sort of language in their everyday life, which is not true. A language is related to people's identity, so using the taboo language what sort of identity we are creating? What will be an impact of this on little children who are in the process of learning the language and being massively exposed to swearing words?

We have recently seen different groups of unauthorized people entering the government offices with their demands and threatening the officers. They even asked for their resignation. It was absolutely a wrong doing in the name of so-called gen Z youths. A responsible gen Z group would never involve in such a filthy task. There must be a protocol to follow if you want something to be done in a formal organization which was breached by a bunch of young people who had pretended to be an authority themselves. Activities like theirs create terror and insecurities in people; and how can they work peacefully in their work place? After a couple of such incidents, the government has arrested some of the people who were terrorizing the government personnel. Let's hope this kind of irresponsible activities will not repeat again.

An acute blame game has also been developed after the gen Z revolution. If we believe what people are claiming, there is not a single person we can find in the country with a clean image. Whether you consider the great personality Dr. Sanduk Ruit, the Prime Minister Sushila Karki, the Minister of Home Affairs Om Prakash Aryal, the Minister of Energy, Water Resources and Irrigation Kul Man Ghising or anyone who has done something good for the country, they are being criticized baselessly. Some renowned e-papers are also selling the same sort of stories. The interim government has a lot of tasks to do within a limited time. These nonsense stories may distract its main focus, and this may be the intention of rumormongers.  

 

Journalism is regarded as a very sacred  profession. It comes after the three branches of democracy - executive, legislative and judiciary. So, it is called the fourth branch. These days some journalists have also failed to follow their work ethics. I think such journalists are not journalists in real sense but they are self-proclaimed ones. I remember a so-called journalist who was shouting at one of the gen Z representatives to take accountability of every damage that had happened on the 8th and 9th of September. The poor gen Z boy was trying to clarify that the probe commission has already been formed to investigate the incidents of killing and vandalism happened on those dates but that pathetic journalist was unable to process this information. His stubbornness was ridiculous.

For the past some days Balen Shah's poem had got an entire attention on the social media platforms. In that poem only an expression 'as dirty as a farmer' was being attacked . A majority of people interpreted this expression denotatively instead of connotatively. They stated that Balen Shah insulted farmers saying that they are dirty people and they vented their anger upon him. More interestingly, the All Nepal Peasants' Federation even issued a press release asking Balen to remove this expression from the poem. The word 'dirty' reminded me my PhD days. At that time my research supervisors used to tell me to dirty my hands while conducting my study, then only I could succeed. Doing PhD and farming are equally daunting and without working hard neither PhD scholars nor farmers reach their goal.

All these examples are the evidence of our mental level on an average. We do not have practice of critical thinking, as a result, we are unable to differentiate between facts and rumors. During this critical time we, as responsible citizens, must be united for a common cause to relieve the country from all the problems that she is facing right now. 

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, October 31, 2025 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired so.]

 

 

 

 

 

Stop Discrediting Gen Z Youths

 

What comes to your mind when you hear the term 'Gen Z group '? If you ask me the same question, I would answer that it is a particular generation of people who belong to the age group 13 to 28.  They are globally connected via the internet, so they are pretty aware of the worldly affairs and they are eager to question if they find something is going wrong or they need further explanation on certain issues. Sadly, some notorious political leaders accuse the Gen Z people of being terrorists, traitors or they even compare them with YCL (Young Communist League) people. Are Gen Z and YCL people the same? In my opinion, they are like chalk and cheese. 

The Young Communist League was born during a decade-long Maoist movement in Nepal, which dated back to 1996 and continued until 2006. Since the Maoist movement was an armed struggle, YCL was also obviously an armed youth force to support this movement. The people of my generation have experienced the terror of Maoists at that time. Do the youths of Gen Z hold the same terror? Are they calling for a civil war like YCL? Are they carrying arms? If not, then how dare those politicians address the young Gen Z people as terrorists or YCL?

Economic background 

Thanks to Aashika Tamang, a popular social activist, who, through her videos, has taken us to the places of Gen Z protesters who were injured during the protest of September 8 and 9. Tamang has shown us the real Gen Z faces. Most of the injured people seem to be college students from different villages and they have rented rooms in Kathmandu. They do not seem to be the children from well-to-do families. Through the condition of their rooms, it is clearly visible that their parents are struggling enough to support their children's education.

Whether Aashika Tamang has met the Gen Zers in their rooms or at the hospital beds, all of them look innocent, friendly and determined to bring positive changes in the country. None of them has said that they are in favour of violence. In an unequivocal voice, they simply ask for justice. I have also heard many Gen Z representatives and all of them are presenting their agenda clearly. None of them wants to instigate the violence again. They have seen a lot of loss and destruction in two days, i.e., on the 8th and 9th of September. So, they are begging for no more damage on the part of people and properties. It also does not mean that the Gen Z group is the only group that participated in the protest. There are thousands of others out there who belong to this group. Are they all terrorists?

The Gen Z protest in Nepal attracted an international audience as well. A number of international media outlets have covered the news positively. One of the Indian news channels had made a headline, 'Jis or jawani chalti hai or jamana chalta hai' or the youth leads the world. Nobody can deny that the protest was initiated with a pure intention but it is another story that it was contaminated by various anarchical elements in between. I have seen many school children in foreign countries marching on the streets with placards in support of the Gen Z protesters in Nepal. 

Not only this, in countries like India, Peru, Kenya, Indonesia, the Philippines, Morocco and  Madagascar also youth-led protests have begun to show their dissatisfaction on different issues. A recent CNN report 'From Kathmandu to Lima,’ states that youth-led uprisings are driving thousands from their screens to the streets, demanding accountability, change and, in some cases, toppling governments. In such a situation, how wise it is to blame the Gen Z group for every mishappening that can be observed recently in Nepal? When we go back to the Maoist movement, it never got international acceptance. 

Even though there was a ceasefire and the Maoist party entered open politics and signed a peace treaty, it still had its terrorist tag. It took six solid years to get this tag lifted by the US government. So, there is no point in comparing Gen Z with YCL. As mentioned above, Gen Zers are globally connected. If something happens in a corner of the world, it spreads everywhere in no time. It is people's basic right to get access to the information they need without any censorship. The KP Oli-led government tried to confiscate this right and all Nepali people are facing its consequences. 

Categorisation 

Based on their birth, the world's people are roughly categorised into eight categories. They are the Greatest Generation (born between 1901 to 1927), the Silent Generation (born between 1928 to 1945), the Baby Boomers (born between 1946 to 1964), the Generation X (born between 1965 to 1980), the Millennials (born between 1981 to 1996), the Generation Z (born between 1997 to 2012), the Generation Alpha (born between 2013 to 2024) and the Generation Beta (born between 2025 to 2039). 

According to their category, these people have their typical characteristics too. The available statistics shows that the younger generations, such as Gen Alpha and Gen Z, are growing rapidly and they are becoming a larger portion of the global population, approximately 24 per cent and 23 per cent respectively. In this way, Gen Z represents the world population instead of being a small political group of a country like YCL. Therefore, dear people, do not defame them by labeling terrorists, traitors or YCL. 

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, October 10, 2025 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired so.]

Ensure Justice For Gen Z Youth

 Last week was totally unexpected. I was aware of the fact that the young generation of Nepal, named Gen Z, was going to protest against the abrupt social media ban by the former government and the growing corruption in the country.  Since such protests are not unusual in our context, I did not pay that much attention. However, one thing was quite interesting in this Gen-Z protest: it was happening across the country at the same time.

It was Monday, the 23rd of Bhadra, 2082. That day, I was a bit busy at home with my household chores. When I got free, I was curious to learn about the consequences of the protest. But what I saw on the mobile screen took my breath away. It was just out of my imagination. Every newspaper was yelling, 'Police fired the gun! Police fired the gun!' By the end of the day, there was a news story that 19 people were killed and hundreds were injured. Among those 19, 17 were in Kathmandu and two were in Itahari. While I was writing this article, the death toll has reached more than 70. It has been more than a week since that protest, and many things are happening in between, but I am still stuck there. My inner voice is continuously asking, 'Why gunfire? Weren't there other means to disperse the crowd? Is it ethical to shoot the disarmed youngsters?' 

School and college students 

The term Gen Z, which was only used on online platforms and among digitally literate people, suddenly became popular among the public. Some were heard saying Gen Z, some Gen G, some Gin-G, some Zen-J, and some J and J. Until now, most of the common people know that the Gen-Z group includes those people who were born between 1997 and 2012 A. D. So, they belong to the age group 13 to 28.  This means that there were a lot of school and college students who were minors and in their uniforms. Under the UN Convention on the Rights of the Child, to which Nepal is a State Party, it is clearly mentioned that 'every child deserves safety, dignity, and the right to live without fear. Immediate and strict legal action is imperative against any violence targeting children during protests. Their rights must be upheld without compromise.'

In this condition, how can a State head order the police force to fire a gun targeting the students just like that? It is an inexcusable violation of children's rights. Those innocent children were simply asking for their freedom of expression. Unfortunately, their voice was silenced. It seems like it was a planned murder. Many of those deceased students were the only children of their parents. It was hard to see the lamenting people who lost their dear ones in no time. 

We are all grieving this time, but some of the Indian media have portrayed the Nepali youths as social media addicts. They have claimed that the Zen-Z protest was organised only because of the social media ban. How incorrect a message they are delivering to the whole world! But the world is also watching all this, and the world's people can analyse the situation themselves. 

In fact, not only the youngsters, but all Nepali people were affected massively by the ban of most social media platforms. For example, these days many people are doing online business, different organisations also find the social media platforms more convenient for their day-to-day communication. Not only city people but also the village people use social media to sell their products. It should be remembered that the Gen Zeers are digital natives, and what one feel if they are prohibited from entering their own native country? By and large, a majority of people became the victims of the unnecessary decision to ban social media.

Let's go back to the same Gen Z protest. If the government had not become so cruel on the first day, I am sure the second day's destruction would never have happened. What the government should have realised is that the young people of this generation are educated and quite aware of the national and international affairs. Being global citizens, they are studying the world closely. They were out on the street with a good cause; they were merely asking for a corruption-free country. Was their demand so dangerous that the government had to open fire? Were those protesters criminals? This stupid and unforgivable act of KP Sharma Oli-led government has been strongly criticised everywhere. When Sushila Karki, now appointed Prime Minister, went to support the Gen Z protest on the second day, she also condemned this act as being a 'mass murder.'

Revolution

After the Gen Z protest turned into a revolution on the second day, the old government collapsed. Even though the new government has decided to declare martyrs to those who lost their lives during the protest and to provide one and a half million rupees as compensation to their families, these martyrs have not received full justice yet.

It is the newly formed government's duty to find everyone responsible for the death of the innocent young people and punish them according to the law. Then only the Gen Z movement will be successful. Great poet Laxmi Prasad Devkota was wise enough to write, 'Natipnu hera kopila, nachudnu paapa laagdachha, nachyaatnu fula naani ho, dayaa ra dharma bhaagdachha...'. Here, the poet is addressing little children, but it is equally applicable to adults and relevant to the incident of September 8.    

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, September 19, 2025 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired so.]

Limit Your Social Media Time

 

'Ma'am, my son glues his eyes on the mobile phone all the time. He doesn't want to read any book or go out to play. I'm worried. What can I do?' a parent complained to me. To pacify her, I said, 'It's not only your son; other parents also tell me the same story. Yeah, it's really a serious problem these days.' At the same time, my inner voice was whispering, 'It's not only the children's fault. The parents introduce their children to the mobile phone first. They don't want to spend quality time with the children because they themselves have numerous activities to attend to on social media. It's natural for children to imitate their parents.'

When I observe my surroundings, I can see that almost all children sit in a corner of the room, enjoying one programme or another on their mobile phones. They are completely immersed in it; even if you try to speak to them, they do not respond. It is not surprising that the adult members of the family also use their mobile phones. This is the common picture of every household these days. With the advent of something, both advantages and disadvantages emerge. Initially, only its bright side is visible, but gradually the dark side also begins to emerge. The same has happened with the internet and different social sites as well. 

Discourse 

Now, the whole world is engaged in the discourse on how to prevent young children from becoming addicted to social media. Many countries have already started taking a strong initiative in this direction. For instance, last year the Senate in Australia approved that children under the age of 16 will be banned from using social media from the end of 2025, i.e., from December this year. If tech companies do not comply with this, they will be heavily fined. Like the United States, Australia, the United Kingdom, France, Spain, Norway, Greece, Italy, or even South Korea, these countries have also taken initiatives to restrict the use of social media platforms by minors. 

Who doesn't know about Silicon Valley? It is a region in Northern California that is a global centre for high technology and innovation. All top-class tech companies, such as Apple, Google, Meta, and many more, are located there. What is more interesting is that many employees of these companies also prefer not to expose their children to technology. Therefore, they send their children to the Waldorf School of the Peninsula, where computers are not used in the classrooms. Waldorf education emphasises children's holistic development. The goal of such education is to develop students' intellectual, artistic and practical skills, with a focus on imagination and creativity. It is believed that learning happens effectively if students interact with one another and with their teachers, and work with real materials in the real world. For all this, technology will not help.

There is a growing body of research that supports the view that social media has numerous negative effects on young children. For example, it is found that those who spend a lot of time in front of the screen tend to show more symptoms of depression, anxiety, mood swings, sleep deprivation and eating disorders. Cyberbullying can be another problem that happens on social media. There is a risk that students may be distracted from their studies, as there are numerous distractions that can capture their attention. Studies also show that early exposure to social media might cause attitude problems and risky behaviour in adolescence. In addition, there is a high chance that children are exposed to inappropriate or harmful content detrimental to their psychological development.

Parents' role 

On the one hand, there are numerous adverse effects of exposing children to social media at a young age. On the other hand, we cannot completely control their use of it, as it has become an integral part of everyone's life. However, it has many positive aspects as well, but the condition is that social media must be used wisely. Various research studies show that social media helps children to develop global connections, it provides them with different platforms such as Facebook, Instagram or TikTok to showcase their creative work for a wider audience, they can be updated with current world affairs, and they can find a lot of resource materials which are helpful in their studies, among others.

Parents have an important role in balancing children's on-screen and off-screen activities. First of all, they can set a particular on-screen time slot for their children. For example, after completing all of their homework, they can use the mobile phone for an hour, not more than that. Occasionally, parents must monitor the types of activities their children are engaging in on the phone. They should minimise their own screen time. Children imitate adults. The parents should spend a sufficient amount of time interacting with their children. There are a lot of topics they can discuss. This way, parent-child bonding will also be strengthened. Most of all, the parents can introduce their children to the book world. Once children divert their attention from a mobile phone to books, then parents' worry starts melting. But to develop children's reading habits, the parents must also read with them.

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Saturday, September 6, 2025 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired so.]

Time To Redefine Haritalika Teej

 Traditionally, it is said that Teej is particularly a women's festival. I have been observing the celebration of this festival since my childhood. During this period, I have experienced a lot of changes. However, the mythology and definition related to Teej remain the same. Mythologically, Teej, also known as Haritalika Teej, is associated with Goddess Parvati. To cut a long story short, Parvati was in deep love with God Shiva, so she wanted him as her husband. For this, she went to a forest and performed penance and fasted for many days. Eventually, her wish was fulfilled. Since then, Hindu women started to fast on the occasion of Teej, praying to Lord Shiva to find a husband like him. This story suits the unmarried girls, so the married women fast for the longevity and prosperity of their husbands. I think we have to test the truth of this story at present.

By definition also Teej is associated with women. It is celebrated in some parts of India and Nepal. The Indian people celebrate the festival in their way, but in the context of Nepal, it should be celebrated for two days - 'Dar day' and 'Teej day.' In the past, Teej was celebrated just like this. The married women used to be invited to their maternal home for a big celebration. It was a time of reunion with their relatives and friends. The women would feel free from the domination of their mothers-in-law and sisters-in-law at the husband's home. They would gather together and eat different kinds of delicious food on the Dar day and they would fast, worship Lord Shiva, sing and dance as a Teej celebration.

Teej songs

Now the time has changed completely, and so has the way Teej is celebrated.  Then why define it in the same way as it was in the old days? When Teej approaches, there come different Teej songs in the market. These songs also reflect the society of the particular time. In my mother's generation, women used to sing sangini to express their feelings. The first commercial song that I heard was 'Teejako rahar ayo bari lai...' from a Nepali movie 'Kanyadan', which was released in 1991. This song explains the condition of Nepali women at that time, such as '...birsera ajalai karkare sasu, amaju nandale dieka aashu...' This song has very little or no implication in today's society. After this song, there came countless Teej songs which express women's sorrows, happiness, freedom, rights, or their empowerment.

 But in most of the songs, only women are highlighted. I wonder why it is so. On the one hand, we talk about gender balance, and on the other, we segregate ourselves in the women's sect on occasions like Teej. The popular singer Durgesh Thapa may also have realised this inequality between men and women, so he wrote and sang a song 'Hami pani nachnu parchha bicha bichama...' five or six years ago. Durgesh has tried to be inclusive through this song, which is a high demand of contemporary society.

The scenario of the Teej celebration has massively changed these days, particularly in the urban and suburban areas. The two-day celebration has been extended to two months. Many people complain about this; I am also on the same page. But nobody can do anything because this change is inevitable, as the condition of women is not the same as in the past years. Earlier, most women were housewives who would always be looking forward to opportunities to come out of the house. Teej would provide them with such an opportunity to go to their maternal home to celebrate the festival. 

On the contrary, these days women are affiliated with one or another institution; some even have their affiliation with multiple institutions. Because of this, a trend has been developed to have the Dar party only one day is not enough. In addition, the women of this age are not dying to visit their maternal home in search of freedom. They have already been free from their in-laws' domination because they either earn their own money by doing one or another sort of job or their husband is in the foreign employment. 

Thinking critically

When it comes to fasting, most of the women these days do not fast as strictly as women used to in the old days, when they used to fast without even drinking water. This cannot be possible these days. Because of different health issues, abstaining from food for an extended period has become risky. Furthermore, the women have become capable of thinking critically, and they do not believe that their one-day fasting brings longevity to their husbands. They simply fast and worship Lord Shiva for the welfare of the family or their mental peace. 

Anybody can do this regardless of being a man or a woman. A lot of men have also started to fast on the  day of Teej. Therefore, it is not a good idea to attach Teej only to women. There must be an equal participation of men and women in Dar parties, Teej fasting, singing or dancing. After all, Durgesh Thapa is right when he sings 'Didi baini matrai nachchhan jaile pani Teejama. Hami pani nachnu parchha bichcha bichchama....' In my opinion, Teej should be redefined as it is a festival of all Hindu people instead of defining it as a festival of women alone. 

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, August 21, 2025 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired so.]

   

 

Potential Pitfalls Of Grade Skipping

 Particularly in my community, a bizarre trend has developed among the parents. Towards the end of an academic year in schools, especially private ones, there comes parental pressure for grade skipping. When they come to school to collect their children's results, many of them demand that their child be promoted from grade one to grade three or from grade five to grade seven. When asked for reasons, all of them have a typical response, "They are overage," which cannot be true. 

The children's age is just right for the grade where they are promoted by the school. The parents insist that their children can cope with the situation. They even agree to assist their children in studies but unfortunately, most of them will not. 

 When I pass through the school corridor, I overhear them chatting with each other, which brings out the real reason for their intense desire behind their children's grade skipping. It is related to money. According to these parents, it is a waste of money; if they make their children skip a grade, they can save the money of an entire year.  If you are sending your child to a private school for better education, it does not make any sense that you want to save petty money by risking the child's holistic development. 

Adverse effects 

Yes, there is a provision of grade skipping in the education system worldwide; for this, certain criteria should be met. It is sad to say that the insistent parents do not want to hear about all this. It seems that they are unaware of the adverse effects of grade skipping on their children's lives. Some students are gifted, and they show exceptional academic abilities. However, only academic excellence may not be enough to skip a grade. In addition, they must have excellent social skills and emotional development. Such students can cope with the challenges that they encounter at a higher grade level. They are ready to handle the situations at the upper grade. 

Once these students are identified, the principal, teachers, and parents sit together and decide whether to allow the exceptional students to skip a grade. There is no doubt, the academically advanced students can benefit from grade skipping. The available research also shows that grade skipping is in favour of the exceptional learners. For example, James Kulik, who has studied for more than twenty-five years how gifted children fare in schools, says that acceleration makes a huge difference in the academic achievement of bright students.

Unfortunately, this is not the case in the schools of our community. It is only parents who make a decision for their children's grade acceleration and they are not necessarily the gifted ones. The poor children have to pay a huge price for their parents' unwise decision. Therefore, the parents must be aware of the potential drawbacks associated with grade skipping.

First of all, there is a knowledge gap. As students skip a whole year, they cannot relate the content they have already learned in their earlier grade to the content of the new grade because the sequence of the course content will have already been broken down. To make this up, they have to work for extra hours, which obviously will increase their workload in comparison to their peers. Because of this, they may lose interest in their studies forever.  Once brilliant students in the previous grades will turn out to be just average students in most cases. In other words, they may not excel to the fullest in the upper grades. Surely, the parents do not want this.

Another factor to consider is that the grade skippers may face social and emotional challenges. As they need to mix with older students, they may find it uncomfortable and they prefer to be isolated. This develops the feeling of loneliness in them. Sometimes, the grade-skipped students can be the victims of bullying for being younger or different. They become emotionally weak and avoid taking challenging tasks because of the fear of failure. Thirdly, finding themselves unfit in the group of older students, the grade skippers may develop inappropriate behaviour, such as arrogance, tantrums, lying, stealing, kicking, bullying, using swear words and so on.  Gradually, they become uncontrollable, which will become a headache for teachers and parents as well.

Holistic development

Now it is clear that grade skipping is not an option for all students. A handful of children who are exceptional in academic, social and emotional advancement can skip a grade and it will be a blessing for them. In other cases, it is safe to upgrade students according to their age level and grade level. Many educators also agree that keeping a child with their age group is the safest way to go. In her article 'Pros and Cons of Skipping a Grade,' Connie Matthiessen, a San Francisco writer and editor, mentions that one of her coworkers always regretted skipping first grade. So he suggested, "Childhood is short enough as it is. Why hurry kids any more than you need to?"

My dear parents, when you go to your child's school next time with a proposal of grade skipping, please think through all the advantages and disadvantages of your proposal. The school principal and your child's teachers may be more knowledgeable and concerned than you regarding the child's holistic development. So, do not forget to consult with them whether it is a good idea for your son or daughter to skip a grade.  

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, August 8, 2025 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired so.]

   

 

Stars Shine Within All

 In the course of reading books, there are several moments in my life when I wish the book I was reading would never reach an end. Recently, the same happened while I was watching Amir Khan's movie Sitaare Zameen Par. Amir Khan, a renowned Bollywood actor and social activist, is famous for making hit films with a social message, particularly in the later years of his acting career. Such movies include Taare Zameen Par, Dangal, Secret Superstar, and many more.

Be it a good book, movie, or piece of art, it gives the connoisseur a feeling of contentment. Such a good piece of art elevates people's minds to some extent, and good feelings linger for a long time. That is what happened to me when I watched Sitaare Jamin Par. Though the film's subplots are picked from everyday life, they are remarkable and carry a deep meaning between the lines.    

According to different media reports, Khan had quit the film industry after doing the film Laal Singh Chaddha in 2022. But when he heard the script of  Sitaare Zameen Par, he could not keep his promise. So, he had his grand comeback to the industry with this movie. Sitaare Zameen Par has raised different social issues. However, the subject of Down syndrome and autism is the most highlighted one. Down syndrome is a genetic condition of people, whereas autism is a neurodevelopmental condition. We have to keep in mind that they are not diseases at all. Both conditions can cause developmental delays and affect individuals in various ways. The problem is that the so-called normal people in our society discriminate against individuals with down syndrome or autism and consider them abnormal, which is nothing but their ignorance.

The film's main character, Gulshan Arora, played by Amir Khan, is a basketball coach. As a person, he is arrogant and ill-tempered. He loves to confront everybody. Because of his hostile behaviour, he is suspended from his job. As a community service, he is unexpectedly assigned to train a mentally challenged group of basketball players for three months. Mr. Arora's gradual behavioural and thinking pattern transformation begins from here. In the beginning, he grumbles that those players are good for nothing. He even used to mock them. But slowly, his perception of them starts changing. Arora realizes that people with Down syndrome or autism are also normal human beings in their ways. They have their strengths, weaknesses, emotions, and fears like others. Here we can apply the theory of 'multiple intelligences.' This theory was proposed by the psychologist Howard Gardner in 1983. It suggests that human intelligence is not a single entity that traditional IQ tests can measure, but rather a complex interplay of abilities. Gardner poses eight types of intelligence, and every individual has at least one or more than one intelligence in them, so intellectually challenged people are also not an exception.

Arora was there to train the notable players, but he learns many life lessons from them. He even feels belittled by them when it comes to sharing love, happiness, and sensitivity. This part is very emotional.

Apart from the issue of mentally challenged people, the movie raised another issue related to a complicated relationship between a husband and a wife in contemporary society. Genelia D'Souza has played the role of Sunita, Gulshan's wife. Both Gulshan and Sunita are in their worlds. Although they love each other deeply, they do not live in the same place because of specific differences. Gulshan moves out to his mother's house to keep the peace. When Gulshan becomes more understanding in the company of his trainee basketball players, Sitaare, his relationship with Sunita also starts improving. 

The film shows the problem of older adults, particularly when they lose their spouse and are forced to live alone. In such a situation, they find it hard to spend the rest of their lives alone. They need a partner. In the Western world, choosing a partner at any age is fine, but it is unusual in our society. In most cases, the parents cannot openly spell out their need for a partner to their grown-up children because the children do not usually accept it. So, they have to keep their relationship a secret. This situation is portrayed beautifully in Sitaare Zameen Par.

Combining several social issues into different layers, this movie entertains the audience. At the same time, it educates them as well. More than anything else, it teaches them to be sympathetic, sensitive, lovable, considerate, and patient with mentally challenged people. They are also valuable members of society, so they should not be discriminated against or ostracized based on their limitations. If they are treated nicely and encouraged to work on their strengths, they can achieve their goals like any other mentally sound people.

Sitaare Zameen Par is said to be a spiritual successor to Amir Khan's 2007 hit movie Taare Zameen Par, which raised the subject of dyslexia. Sitaare Zameen Par is based on the 2018 Spanish movie Champions by Javier Fesser. This film is recommended for its entertainment value and thought-provoking content.

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, July  25, 2025 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired so.]

निर्जला

 वर्तमान समयमा दमकको साहित्यिक आकाशमा उदाएको एउटा नाम हो— टंक प्रसाद पाठक । सेवानिबृत्त शिक्षक भए पनि साहित्य जगतमा उनी बैशालु युवा जस्ता प्रमाणित हुदै आएका छन् ।  २०७८ सालमा उनको पहिलो कविता संग्रह प्रकाशित भएको थियो— 'भावनाका फूलहरू' । त्यो कृतिको विमोचन कार्यक्रमको साक्षी हुने मौका मैले पनि पाएकी थिएँ । कवि पाठकलाई चुनौती दिँदै डा. गोविन्दराज भट्टराईले “हेर्नुहोस् है पाठकजी, तपाईंले अब प्रत्येक वर्ष एउटा कृति प्रकाशित गर्नुभएछ भने तपाईंलाई पत्याउँला नत्र एउटा आवेशमा आएर यो कविता संग्रह प्रकाशित गर्नुभएको रहेछ भन्ने संझौला,” भन्नुभएको थियो । त्यो चुनौतीलाई सहर्ष स्वीकार गर्दै अहिले आफ्नो तेस्रो कृति ‘निर्जला’ उपन्यास पाठकले हामीलाई दिएका छन् ।

            उनका कविताको रसास्वादन हामीले गरिसकेका छौँ । विषेश गरेर उनको ‘नजौ छोरा...’ भन्ने कविता प्रायः साहित्यिक कार्यक्रमहरुमा कविको भारीभरकम स्वरमा गुन्जिने गर्छ । कविको रुपमा स्थापित भैसकेका पाठकको आख्यानमा पनि उत्तिकै सशक्त रुपमा कलम चल्दोरहेछ भन्ने कुराको प्रमाण यो उपन्यास हो ।

            यो कृतिको शीर्षकबाटै थाहा हुन्छ उपन्यास यसकी प्रमुख पात्र निर्जलाकै वरिपरि घुमेको छ । त्यसैले यसलाई नारीप्रधान उपन्यास भन्न मिल्छ । यो उपन्यासको विषयवस्तु भनेको प्रेम नै हो । तर प्रमुख पात्रहरु हरि र निर्जलाको प्रेम सलल बगेको छैन; यो अलि क्लिष्ट छ , जिन्दगी जस्तै । यो क्लिष्टतालाई मनोवैज्ञानिक तरिकाले व्याख्या गर्न सकिन्छ ।  नायिका निर्जला आफ्नो प्रेममा प्रष्ट भए पनि नायक हरि भने अलि द्वैध चरित्रको देखिन्छ । ऊ सबै प्रतिकूल परिस्थितिको दोष निर्जलामाथि थोपर्छ र परिस्थिति अनुकूल भएपछि भने त्यही प्रेमको डङ्का पिट्छ तर कहिल्यै निर्जलाको सामना भने गर्दैन । ऊ सधैँ निर्जलासँग भागी भागी हिँड्छ । उपन्यासकै पात्रले पनि हरिको चरित्रलाई यसरी व्याख्या गरेका छन् —“त्यो हरे भनेको नामर्द मुला ।”...“झन् आमा बाबु मरेपछि त बौलाहा जस्तो भएको थियो । आँट हिम्मत र गरीखाने भए घर छोडेर हिँड्छ र कोही ?” (पृ. ८०)

            हरिलाई एकोहोरो प्रेम गर्नुबाहेक निर्जला सधैँ आफूलाई स्वाभलम्बी  बनाउन खोजिरहन्छे । त्यसैले उसलाई नारी सशक्तिकरणको उदाहरणका रुपमा पनि लिन सकिन्छ । हरिका अनुसार ऊ निर्जलाद्वारा बलात्कृत हुन्छ तर यसको मूल्य भने बलात्कारीले नै चुकाउनुपर्छ । उसलाई छोडेर भागेको प्रेमीको तडप र समाजको डरले गर्भवती निर्जला आफूलाई समाप्त पार्नेतिर लाग्दिन बरु कसरी आफ्नो र हुनेवाला बच्चाको रक्षा गर्न सकिन्छ भन्नेतिर लाग्छे र घर छोडेरै आफ्नो संघर्षपूर्ण जीवनमा होमिन्छे । अनेक दुःख कष्ट पार गर्दै ऊ आफ्नो खुट्टामा उभिन सफल हुन्छे । हरि पनि एक किसिमले त सफल नै हुन्छ तर ऊ सधैँ आफ्नै स्वार्थ र कायरताले डोरिएको छ । यो एउटा वियोगान्त उपन्यास हो ।

            प्रेम र वियोगबाहेक यो उपन्यासमा अरु पनि धेरै पक्ष छन् । सर्वप्रथम त यसलाई एक आञ्चलिक कृतिको रुपमा लिन सकिन्छ । यसको परिवेश कोशी प्रदेशकै विभिन्न ठाउँहरु छन् । मुख्य सेरोफेरो भनेको दमक र यसकै वरिपरिका स्थल छन् । यो क्षेत्रका मानिसको जीवनशैलीलाई पनि उपन्यासले दर्शाएको छ । यहाँ ठाउँ ठाउँमा पूर्वीय जीवन दर्शन भेटिन्छ । मानिसको जन्म किन भयो ? म कहाँबाट आएँ ? मानव जीवनमा गर्नुपर्ने कार्य के के हुन् ? म के गर्न आएँ ? मेरो अन्त्य कसरी हुन्छ ? अन्त्यपछि म कहाँ जान्छु ? (पृ. ४४–४५) जस्ता प्रश्नहरु यहाँ उठाइएको छ । त्यसैगरि अर्को प्रसंगमा निर्जला भन्छे, “म जन्मँदा एक्लै थिएँ मर्दा पनि एक्लै हुने भएकीले यो संसारमा एक्लै रहिरहने छु भन्ने मैले निश्चय गरेकी छु” (पृ. ८२) । लेखकको झुकाव गीत संगीत तथा कवितातिर पनि भएकोले बीचबीचमा गीतका र कविताका टुक्रा प्रशस्तै भेटिन्छन् । त्यसैगरि यो उपन्यासले हाम्रो सामाजिक अवस्थालाई दर्शाएको छ । आफ्नै परिवारमा पनि धनी र गरीब बीचको खाडल कति छ भन्ने कुरा यहाँ छर्लङ्ख देखिन्छ ।

            ‘निर्जला’ उपन्यासमा वर्णित घटनाहरु जस्तै— १२ कक्षा सकेपछि युवाहरु विदेशिने, भारतीय नागरीकलाई नागरिकता दिइने, हर्क साङ्पाङ् मेयर भएको, ललिता निवास कान्ड, भुटानी शरणार्थी काण्ड इत्यादिले तत्कालिन समयकै सेरोफेरोमा यो उपन्यास लेखिएको हो भन्ने प्रष्ट  हुन्छ । तर यहाँका पात्रहरुको जीवनशैली भने पुरानै समयको जस्तो लाग्छ । शायद लेखकले आफू  युवा हुँदाकै समयको कुरा त गरिरहेका छैनन् भन्ने भान पर्छ पाठकलाई बेलाबेलै । यसैगरि धेरैजसो पात्रका नाम पुरानै समयका छन् ।

            उपन्यासको कथावस्तु रोचक भैकन पनि सम्पादन पक्ष अलि फितलो भएकोले भाषागत समस्या (शुद्धाशुद्धी) का साथै कतिपय स्थानमा अर्थको अनर्थ पनि लागेको छ । जस्तै, “चराका बथानहरु आकातिर (हुनुपर्ने आकाश) बाङ्गोटिङ्गो गर्दै क्षितिज पार गर्दै बिलाउँदै जान्थे...” (पृ.१) । अर्को प्रसंगमा  “तोरीबारी पश्चिम उत्तरपट्टि बक्राहा खोला छेउमा पुग्दा उनी गलेर लखतरान भए । फुँडी (हुनुपर्ने खुँडी) भन्ने पिकनिक स्पोर्ट नजिकै थियो...(पृ.४१)” ।

            मलाई लेखकसँग सोध्न मन लागेको कुराचाहिँ यहाँ हरिका सबै सहपाठीको पूरा नाम लिइएको छ र उनीहरुलाई तिमी भनी सम्बोधन गरिएको छ । तर एउटा पात्र हर्केलाई चाहिँ सधैँ हर्के नै भनिएको छ र तँ भनी सम्बोधन गरिएको छ । किन यस्तो भएको होला ? कतै यो पात्र उपन्यासकारकै विद्यार्थी जीवनको एक खल पात्र त होइन ? त्यसैले उनले यो उपन्यासमार्फत नै त्यो पात्रसँग रिस फेरेका हुन् ? भन्नेजस्ता प्रश्न मेरो मनमा उब्जिएका थिए  ।

समग्रमा उपन्यास राम्रो छ; अर्को संस्करणमा यसलाई मिहीन तरिकाले सम्पादन गरेर प्रकाशित गरियो भने यसको मूल्य र स्तरीयता अझ बढ्नेछ ।