Never Say No

I read somewhere that there is only one thing that is constant in this world and that is change. However it is very hard for people in general to accept this phenomenon. To make this point clear Spencer Johnson’s book “Who moved my cheese?” is a perfect example.

This book contains a story of four characters – two mice “Sniff” and “Scurry” and two little people “Hem” and “Haw” who represent human metaphor. All of these characters live in a maze where they find varieties of cheese to satisfy their hunger.

The difference between the mice and humans is that the former are constantly noticing the dwindling cheese but the latter are oblivious to their surroundings and just feel comfortable with what they are getting. Soon the supply of cheese finishes and this does not surprise Sniff and Scurry but Hem and Haw cannot figure out what’s happening overnight. They only keep wondering, “Who moved my cheese?”

The mice start their venture to find another supply of cheese in the maze whereas the humans wait there hoping that someday their cheese will reappear. At one level this story is simply read this way; at another level it carries a profound meaning. Here, the maze represents the world in which we live, the cheese represents our comfort and happiness, and the moving cheese represents constant change.

Particularly what happens, people who are comfortable with one way of life resist moving to an unknown situation; like Hem and Haw, they are reluctant to leave the once cheesy part of the maze to search for more cheese. That part can be said to be their comfort zone. Of course it is difficult to venture out of your comfort zone, but once you do, you can find surprises sooner or later, just like Sniff and Scurry, whose incessant search leads them to an unprecedented cheese station.

When I observe the teachers who follow the traditional way of rote teaching for instance, I feel sympathy towards them. Even if they are continuously suggested to implement new and innovative teaching approaches and provided with the needed tools they fear to discard their old way of teaching and try others available to them. Doing this, they are deprived of the chance to be competitive teachers in the market and at the same time they are not giving their students an ample number of learning opportunities.

To cope with change and even to anticipate its approach is one of the survival skills to fit in this ever changing world. No matter how hard one struggles to resist change, it is an inevitability. And its consequence is the person lags behind and faces difficulties throughout.

Therefore the better option would be to accept the reality that change happens or one’s cheese keeps moving, so he must be ready to tackle this situation and equips himself to find new cheese or adapt to the changing situation. It is not a good idea to say “No” to change; instead welcome the change every time it comes to you and enjoy what it brings to your life. Get ready, something is going to change soon and you need to flow with this change.

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, April 27, 2018 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired ]

Parental Skill

As parents, no matter how old our child gets, it is quite often the case that we cannot look at them any differently than we did when they were little critters running about the house and causing mayhem. Our inherent drive to nurture and provide for our children pushes us to be protective regardless of whether they are three or twenty-three. However, sustained protectiveness might actually be doing exactly the opposite of what we want it to do; the ways in which these parental tendencies manifest may actually be scuppering our children’s ability to fend for themselves as independent members of society. 

While observing the relationship between Australian parents and their children during the course of my stay in the country, it became abundantly clear that most Australian parents had better control over their protective tendencies than their Asian counterparts in terms of letting their children venture out of the comfort zone. They were more open to letting their children try new avenues of expression and exploration – they were a lot more accepting of failure. As parents, we naturally want to shield our children from failure and the disappointment that inevitably follows, but in our rush to shield, we are often guilty of forgetting that failure is the best teacher. 

I recently read about the importance of letting your child learn through trial and error. This idea is still quite alien to many parents in Nepal. There was one gentleman who talked about letting his son go for football tryouts at the local club despite the fact that the boy was not in the best shape physically, nor did he display particularly exceptional skills at the game. He was not selected for the team, and was upset for a few days as a result. However, the gentleman pointed out that once the initial disappointment passed, his son had a productive discussion with him. By himself, his son decided that football was not really for him. 

After reading the post, I thought about all the Nepali parents I knew that would be willing to stand by and let their child take a similar risk: I could not think of many. For a Nepali child in a similar situation, most would probably be discouraged by their parents for fear of failure or something else. Sure, as parents we may often feel that we know the best for our child, but it is important to take a step back sometimes and let them find out for themselves what is and is not right for them. Let them dip their toes in the water and decide for themselves if it is or isn’t too cold rather than telling them it’s too cold from the get go. 

We should stop trying to lay every stone on children’s path. The truth is they may succeed for as long as we maintain that path for them, but we will never truly know if they enjoy that path and plan to continue building that path unless we let them explore by themselves. After all, as much as we may want to, we cannot hold our child’s hand forever, and we must give them the tools to be independent decision makers from a young age. As parents, we must strive to provide guidance to our children as opposed to explicit directions.

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, April 20, 2018 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired ]

Shared Space

A pair of sparrows had really been causing troubles for me for about a month. My husband pulled down their nest several times with the hope that they would change their location. It must have been their nesting time and we hoped that they would go somewhere else if we got rid of their nest. But they did not budge and kept swishing around as if we were encroaching their space.
 
Just this morning, I felt pity on these creatures and suggested my husband to tie a sack underneath the nesting place so that the dust does not bother us. Ours is a kind of old design house consisting of wood, cement and corrugated roof. It was too bothersome when I moved to this house recently as we have to share this with pigeons, Indian mynah and sparrows. I was shocked to hear that even a snake was found in the ceiling a few years ago. 

My level of dissatisfaction reached breaking point when I saw the birds untiringly rebuilding their destructed nests. “Can’t they build their nests in a tree? So many trees are around here,” I asked my husband. “No,” was his reply. Some of the bird species are very close to humans and they want to build nests in houses, he explained. I pondered over the statement and concluded if these creatures are so close to humans, why I am angry over the system?

However, it is frustrating when the pigeons slip off the corrugated roof in the middle of the night. Their droppings all over the verandah are a headache for our maid. She has millions of complaints over the poor birds. My anger over the tiny birds turned into curiosity and I wanted to know about the sparrows. When I googled, I found that World Sparrow Day is a day designated to raise awareness of the house sparrows and other common birds to urban environments, and of threats to their populations.

 
From Vedas to Bible, sparrows are mentioned as different symbols. If we look into world culture, sparrow occupies a significant space. Ancient Egyptians considered sparrows sacred. They believed sparrows caught the souls of individuals who passed away. Thus, sailors, before going on their journey, would tattoo the image of a sparrow believing that, if they died in the course of their journey, these birds would carry their souls away to the afterlife.

In Indonesia, sparrows are considered a good luck charm. They are of the belief that if a sparrow enters somebody’s house, either someone will get married in the family, or it will be an occasion to celebrate the birth of a new child.Similarly, in Chinese culture, a sparrow is considered to be auspicious. It is a symbol of spring and happiness. If a sparrow nests in a Chinese family’s house, they will never disturb the bird because it is thought to have brought in good luck to the family.

In this way, a little sparrow is identified as a sacred bird to good luck to even Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of Love. After encountering all this literature I have stopped grumbling over these birds and I hope I will soon be able to maintain harmony with them. After all, they need human shelter to their survival and as a human I should support them.

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, March 30, 2018 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired ]