Soap Opera Fails to Do Justice

If you ask the viewers of Nepal Television which programme they like the most, you may get a quick reply from the majority of people - 'Tito Satya' (Bitter Reality). Doubtlessly the humour and satire soap opera has been able to win many people's heart, but this widely watched TV drama has not done a complete justice to its female characters and has undermined the feelings of the female viewers.

The main female character in 'Tito Satya,' Deepa Shree Niraula as Deepa, is presented as a beautiful woman from a middle class family. She looks modern and resides in Kathmandu, the capital city of Nepal, but the problem with her is that she is entirely dependent on her husband. She is extremely conscious about her beauty: she wears attractive modern clothes, applies full make-up and highlights her hair. I wonder how can't a woman like Deepa be equally aware of being independent and think of earning herself to fulfill her demands as well as to support the family? She is there simply to serve her husband water, tea or three times meal. Her dependence leads Deepak, her husband, to a suspicion that if she robs his money. Poor Deepa cannot do anything except for stepping back and throwing angry looks along with some defensive words.

Whether she is Deepa, Bijuli or Sweetie, they are portrayed as a commodity. Any man can consider her as his possession. Sweetie is a 'thing' to be possessed by all lecherous male staff in her office. They are free to flirt with her any time they like. They can take her for a date, although they all are married men. Sweetie is merely a 'time pass' for them. What is unconvincing is that she does not have any objection whatever those cunning men do with her. Similarly, neither Suku shows any gentlemanly decency while pampering Deepa in Deepak's absence; nor Deepak misses a chance to approach Bijuli, Suku's wife in the soap opera with his unfair intentions when Suku is not around.

Are these women that much idiot that they do not know about such silly men's vulgar intentions? Why can't they warn or oppose them? After all, they are not deaf, dumb, blind or brainless objects.

There is also a big question mark in the relationship between neighbours. In our society the neighbourly bond  is considered to be the strongest one. Usually no man should throw his dirty looks towards his neighbour's wife, especially when the neighbour is out of the house.

One of the objectives of such TV shows is to raise awareness among general public on different issues. Sadly, Tito Satya is unable to present its female characters in powerful roles. As a result, it fails to inspire women or to strengthen the concept of women empowerment - currently a burning issue. They are revealed as stereotyped traditional women. They are less powerful and less witty than their male counterparts. They are presented as narrow-minded, superstitious, jealous, weak and suspicious lot. They have to tolerate all the foolish activities done by the men, and pathetically they cannot raise a voice for their existence.

In reality, the situation of women has been  improved much in comparison to the past days. They have started to explore their identity and existence in the society. They do not like to waste their time staying idly at home. They have understood the importance of self-earning. They have proved themselves as wise, competent or strong as men.

Therefore, the main reason for depicting women as having less significant roles may lie in the deeply injected male chauvinism of the director cum story writer of Tito satya, Deepak Raj Giri. He may not want to see a woman at the same level as of a man, but what would he do if all female viewers started to switch into some other channels where women are presented as an agent of social change?

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Sunday, February 12, 2006)  

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Visibly Invisible

Recently, I read an article about how white people negate the existence of blacks in the western world. In the story, there was a scuffle between a white and a black boy. The scuffle took place after the white boy pushed the black boy while walking in a subway. Although the white boy said "sorry," the black boy was not ready to forgive him, as he believed that the pushing was deliberate. The white guy remarked that the black boy was "invisible" to him. The writer ended the story with a comment, "Blacks are always invisible to the Whites" (No offence, please. The writer had himself used the term"black").

The writer's punch upon the word 'invisible' gripped my whole attention. I was really spellbound by the depth of meaning that was contained within a single word. I tried to relate my situation to that of the coloured boy. I found plenty of similarities between the situation of the coloured people and the females in our society, who have remained invisible since ages.

Some days back, there was a teachers' meeting in our college. The opening speech of the principal was something like, "All sirs should be aware of why we are gathered here today..." I was not happy with the address "sirs." I honestly felt that he was undermining the presence of the female staff who also had willingly sacrificed their beautiful Saturday morning to attend the meeting. Not finding me very much comfortable with his speech, the principal tried to correct himself, "I'm using the term sirs as a common term for both male and female teachers..." At this point, it was impossible to digest his bullshit. So, I retorted back, "Excuse me, but I don't agree with you, sir. It is rather teacher and not sir that is a common word." However, he, being a man molded in deep-rooted convictions did not seem to be convinced at all. How dared I question his belief system! Throughout the meeting he continued to use the same expression "sirs" to collectively address the teachers.

The truth is not only our principal but a good many male staff use what they call a 'common expression' for both males and females. Very often, a male teacher enters the staff room and greets, "Sabai sir harulai namaskar chha hai," (Greetings to all sirs). For them, the female teachers are completely invisible. In contrast, a female teacher never greets her male colleagues in this manner. Instead, she is careful enough to distinguish 'sirs' from 'madams' in her greeting.

It is true that the number of women is less than that of men in every sector, such as education, politics, law, medicine and so on. This could be one of the reasons why women go unnoticed and their voice is unheard. Our cultural malpractice that considers women inferior to men could be another reason for such gender discrimination. If these practices continue, the male folk would feel hard to accept the equal existence of females, even at the workplace.

(Published in an English Daily The Kathmandu Post on Wednesday, June 15, 2005)



Letter to the Editor (17 June): 
Invisible artists: 
Thanks to the article titled 'Visibly Invisible' (June 15) that reveals how women are discriminated in the workplace by the educated 'sirs,' the male workers. Women are discriminated against not only at workplaces, but also in every sector of Nepali society. For instance, the 10th Five Year Plan of the government has accepted a mere 8% participation of women in civil service, 10% in land ownership, 5% in house ownership and a whooping 60% in agricultural production.

Don't these figures reflect the precarious situation of females in our society? On top of this, women have always been devoid of active participation in society. They are victims of violence and discrimination at all levels ranging from family to state.

Strong patriarchal values, gender-specific roles and religious superstition have reinforced stereotypes about women's role in our society. Women are victims of the most heinous crimes including polygamy, domestic violence, rape, child marriage, witch-hunting, trafficking of women etc.

It seems to me that the discrimination against women at the workplace is just a tip of the iceberg. The country needs more women activists and writers like Byanjana Sharma so that woman could also have an equal place in our society.

Kedar P Badu
Gongabu, Kathmandu

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Injustice Justified

It was a huge gathering of our family members to celebrate the engagement ceremony of one of my nieces. There were more than hundred people clad in formal dress. Not to talk about the kids who were frolicking around oblivious of all oddities. The males seemed to be more relaxed. They were enjoying the preceding moments of the party in every possible way - sipping tea, chatting, joking and laughing care-freely, while the women were busy preparing food in the kitchen.

They were peeling boiled potatoes, chopping vegetables, boiling water, making tea, cooking delicious dishes and many more. On the other hand, all the men were gathered in the drawing room gossiping and ordering tea every now and then. "Is this gender equality?," I wondered as I closely observed this scenario.

I do not mind working. What bothers me is why the kitchen work is basically confined to women? Can't men extend their helping hands in cooking or washing if they advocate for gender equality? At this particular juncture, I suddenly realized that we, females, have not become equal to our male counterparts in certain aspects yet. Men are still playing a superior role. The most unbearable part of that day was when the male folks got tired of talking, they started popping into the kitchen one by one and demanded, "If anything prepared yet? Oh, it's too late. I'm very hungry..." The women were supposed to get the dining table ready at once and feed the men. It did not matter whether the women were also equally hungry because our social norm does not allow females to precede males in eating.

We are so culture-bound that we cannot dare to challenge the age-old customs promptly. We have accepted male chauvinism willingly or unwillingly. If not, why even in an educated family circle like ours where many daughters-in-law are college graduates, no one can raise a voice against such an unjustifiable cultural practice? After all, nobody wants to be an odd-person-out.

I remember, many years ago there was a debate among the concerned people that the teaching content included in primary level textbooks were gender-biased. The texts limited the role of females only to household chores whereas males were exposed as office-goers and sole breadwinners of the family. The people used to argue that such textbooks which were promoting gender disparity in the society, must be changed.

I wondered what today's children learn about their parents' role in a family. Curiously, I flipped through my one-grader son's textbooks. I was shocked by what I saw in them. Some content, "...My mother works at home, she cooks food for us...and my father works in an office, he is an officer...." This means the role of a mother has not changed over the years!

It can be said that our traditional belief of women as housewives has not been changed. Although some voices on gender equality are being raised, women are still regarded as synonymous of household work. In reality, women have also started to work outside and earn money, but men have not started to share the household responsibilities.

It is high time to redefine the role of men and women for they can easily exchange their roles. If a mother can go to office, why cannot a father cook food for children?

(Published in an English Daily The Kathmandu Post on Monday, May 23, 2005)

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired so.]