Parental Skill

As parents, no matter how old our child gets, it is quite often the case that we cannot look at them any differently than we did when they were little critters running about the house and causing mayhem. Our inherent drive to nurture and provide for our children pushes us to be protective regardless of whether they are three or twenty-three. However, sustained protectiveness might actually be doing exactly the opposite of what we want it to do; the ways in which these parental tendencies manifest may actually be scuppering our children’s ability to fend for themselves as independent members of society. 

While observing the relationship between Australian parents and their children during the course of my stay in the country, it became abundantly clear that most Australian parents had better control over their protective tendencies than their Asian counterparts in terms of letting their children venture out of the comfort zone. They were more open to letting their children try new avenues of expression and exploration – they were a lot more accepting of failure. As parents, we naturally want to shield our children from failure and the disappointment that inevitably follows, but in our rush to shield, we are often guilty of forgetting that failure is the best teacher. 

I recently read about the importance of letting your child learn through trial and error. This idea is still quite alien to many parents in Nepal. There was one gentleman who talked about letting his son go for football tryouts at the local club despite the fact that the boy was not in the best shape physically, nor did he display particularly exceptional skills at the game. He was not selected for the team, and was upset for a few days as a result. However, the gentleman pointed out that once the initial disappointment passed, his son had a productive discussion with him. By himself, his son decided that football was not really for him. 

After reading the post, I thought about all the Nepali parents I knew that would be willing to stand by and let their child take a similar risk: I could not think of many. For a Nepali child in a similar situation, most would probably be discouraged by their parents for fear of failure or something else. Sure, as parents we may often feel that we know the best for our child, but it is important to take a step back sometimes and let them find out for themselves what is and is not right for them. Let them dip their toes in the water and decide for themselves if it is or isn’t too cold rather than telling them it’s too cold from the get go. 

We should stop trying to lay every stone on children’s path. The truth is they may succeed for as long as we maintain that path for them, but we will never truly know if they enjoy that path and plan to continue building that path unless we let them explore by themselves. After all, as much as we may want to, we cannot hold our child’s hand forever, and we must give them the tools to be independent decision makers from a young age. As parents, we must strive to provide guidance to our children as opposed to explicit directions.

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, April 20, 2018 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired ]

Shared Space

A pair of sparrows had really been causing troubles for me for about a month. My husband pulled down their nest several times with the hope that they would change their location. It must have been their nesting time and we hoped that they would go somewhere else if we got rid of their nest. But they did not budge and kept swishing around as if we were encroaching their space.
 
Just this morning, I felt pity on these creatures and suggested my husband to tie a sack underneath the nesting place so that the dust does not bother us. Ours is a kind of old design house consisting of wood, cement and corrugated roof. It was too bothersome when I moved to this house recently as we have to share this with pigeons, Indian mynah and sparrows. I was shocked to hear that even a snake was found in the ceiling a few years ago. 

My level of dissatisfaction reached breaking point when I saw the birds untiringly rebuilding their destructed nests. “Can’t they build their nests in a tree? So many trees are around here,” I asked my husband. “No,” was his reply. Some of the bird species are very close to humans and they want to build nests in houses, he explained. I pondered over the statement and concluded if these creatures are so close to humans, why I am angry over the system?

However, it is frustrating when the pigeons slip off the corrugated roof in the middle of the night. Their droppings all over the verandah are a headache for our maid. She has millions of complaints over the poor birds. My anger over the tiny birds turned into curiosity and I wanted to know about the sparrows. When I googled, I found that World Sparrow Day is a day designated to raise awareness of the house sparrows and other common birds to urban environments, and of threats to their populations.

 
From Vedas to Bible, sparrows are mentioned as different symbols. If we look into world culture, sparrow occupies a significant space. Ancient Egyptians considered sparrows sacred. They believed sparrows caught the souls of individuals who passed away. Thus, sailors, before going on their journey, would tattoo the image of a sparrow believing that, if they died in the course of their journey, these birds would carry their souls away to the afterlife.

In Indonesia, sparrows are considered a good luck charm. They are of the belief that if a sparrow enters somebody’s house, either someone will get married in the family, or it will be an occasion to celebrate the birth of a new child.Similarly, in Chinese culture, a sparrow is considered to be auspicious. It is a symbol of spring and happiness. If a sparrow nests in a Chinese family’s house, they will never disturb the bird because it is thought to have brought in good luck to the family.

In this way, a little sparrow is identified as a sacred bird to good luck to even Aphrodite, the Greek Goddess of Love. After encountering all this literature I have stopped grumbling over these birds and I hope I will soon be able to maintain harmony with them. After all, they need human shelter to their survival and as a human I should support them.

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, March 30, 2018 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired ]

Motivation Matters

At school, my son had a keen interest in management studies and would often talk to me about the intricacies of managing a business. Some of the things he brought up never stayed with me; accounting fundamentals and the different types of inventories did not really interest me. However, the area of motivation was thought-provoking. 
Theories of motivation formed a common ground between my son and me. It was something under the wide umbrella of psychology that connected the fields of education and management. As it turns out, being able to subtly manipulate the behaviour of individuals that you are responsible for - be it as a teacher or a manager - is quite a handy skill to have. 

Herzberg’s dual-factor theory particularly piqued my curiosity. Herzberg theorises that there exist two groups of factors within a workplace: factors related to job satisfaction and a separate set of factors that, in their absence, can lead to dissatisfaction. To simplify, some factors in the workplace can motivate workers to perform better, whilst others contribute to a worker feeling content with their job but do not encourage workers to increase their level of performance. 

My understanding of Herzberg’s theory may be more simplistic than that of a management veteran, but it seemed to me like the factors that lead to job satisfaction were mostly intrinsic, whilst the other set of factors were extrinsic. This idea of ‘motivational’ factors being closely linked to intrinsic satisfaction would actually go quite a way towards understanding the differences I observed in Australian and Nepali students. 
In Australia, I noticed that students in primary school classrooms seemed to be a lot happier, and in many ways, a lot more engaged than students in the same setting in Nepal. The smaller, more activity-based teaching-learning dynamic probably contributed to this, but applying Herzberg’s ideas to the context of the classroom gave me new insight.

Students in Australia are introduced to autonomy from very early grades, and are progressively given more freedom when it comes to choosing the ways in which they learn the topics taught in the classroom. Effort is always rewarded, and it is this effort that Australian schools prioritise when it comes to recognition -- not raw results alone. Australian schools were, and are, adept at tapping into students’ intrinsic satisfaction to motivate them and thus boost morale. The same cannot be said for the vast majority of schools in Nepal. 

Schools in Nepal, even today, are usually designed as factories. You put the students in, and a mechanical one-fits-all teaching-learning environment exists all the way through from primary to Master’s level, the output is considered to be students’ performance on exams. Autonomy is out of the question; students are spoon fed and encouraged to score more in examination. Just like a factory, the only thing counted to be results. Efforts, creativity, and the ability to take on challenges using new approaches all take a back seat. The focus is mostly on extrinsic factors.

When trying to bridge the gap between our education system and those of more established countries, then, it seems imperative for us to also consider reforming the ways in which we train our educational professionals to motivate students. Before chasing results, we must ensure that students enjoy the process of learning in the first place. Prolific results will inevitably follow if we are able to maintain a high level of motivation in our classrooms.

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, March 23, 2018 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired s