Encountering Death

It happens when you least expect and no matter how old your loved one is, when they die you are always caught by surprise – I read this somewhere and I related quite strongly to this saying once again (the same happened two times before when I lost my parents within a time span of 15 months) a couple of weeks ago.

The day was as ordinary as the earlier ones and my mother-in-law was in a jolly mood. I chatted with her for nearly two hours that afternoon. Her health was also in a stable condition. Four months ago we had nearly lost her; but her strong willpower helped her to survive a massive heart attack at that time.

She had a lot of stories to share with us which were from different places in Nepal and Bhutan where she travelled with her family in search of a better life, particularly for her children.

Being a working woman, I could not afford to spend a lot of time at home but whenever possible I would sit with her to listen to her recounts and the very day she would leave us, we were oblivious about the upcoming death; we were simply going about our day and having fun with her.

It was half past ten at night and she did not feel so good; because of complications with her heart, she would usually get impatient during nights, so we failed to give other thoughts to her long cough; after half an hour she was no more. It was like a nightmare and I found it very hard to accept this reality. No matter how much I tried not to believe that my mother-in-law was not with us any longer I could not reverse this truth.

On the one hand I was shocked and on the other surprised. I had never experienced death so closely being physically present. What surprised me more was that death could come that easily. My mother-in-law was speaking and we, family members, had gathered around expecting her to get better soon but God had different plans for her. Secondly, normally I would not go near dead people; if I saw someone's funeral procession a kind of chill feeling would run throughout my body but my mother-in-law's lying body did not give me any such feelings. I went near to her, observed her peaceful face and even touched her. At that moment I realised that if you are emotionally attached to someone you do not hesitate to be with their dead body too.

My mother-in-law's sudden death made the statement, "Live like each day is the final day of your life," more real and meaningful. I started to think, "What would one do if he knew that he was going to die that very day?" Clearly, he would not keep ill feelings towards others. He would drop all negativities, such as anger, greed, jealousy, hatred and so on. His heart would be full of nothing but love. How wonderful it would be if we were free from all negative thoughts and feelings and would internalise peace, beauty and all the love available in this universe?

Is it possible? I would say, yes, of course. We all know that we will definitely die one day, if not today. So, why waste our precious time engaging in the things that we generally don't like or enjoy? 

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, June 1, 2018 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired ]

     

Unconditional Love

I think “love” is the concept which is discussed more than any other concepts in the world. They say this feeling has different forms. However the love between lovers has grabbed more attention and the intense lovers may say to each other, “I love you unconditionally” hundred times when they are still enjoying the honeymoon period of love life.

In the discourse of spiritualism the concept of “unconditional love” can be found well explained. In my opinion it is very hard for someone to love unconditionally as an ordinary human being. Particularly, in the case of “couples”, love is mostly mutual, not unconditional. If they really loved each other unconditionally, the number of divorces would not increase so rapidly. 

As we all know, in unconditional love nothing can sway how one person feels about the other, but when two people start to realise the differences between them, their relationship will gradually move towards crumbling, and eventually ends in a divorce. Therefore, what they boast of as unconditional love at the beginning of their relationship is most probably their lust or worldly desire. When they begin to live together this desire takes them to different directions and they soon forget about the purity of unconditional love.

Unconditional love does not change through the course of time or anything else. If unconditional love exists and if there is someone who can experience it, she is a mother. Motherly love is the closest form of unconditional love; fatherly love might also be the same but being a mother myself I can only safely vouch for motherly love. 
I deeply feel that a woman cannot be complete unless she becomes a mother or her personality as a woman will not bloom to the fullest without having a true feeling of motherhood. To be a mother means to be more understanding, selfless, loving, patient and open. How can a mother express her unconditional love towards her child?

Well, let me present some examples. A mother can stay hungry but she always makes sure that her children are well-fed. She can forget about the things which could make her happy but she tries to get everything for the sake of her children’s happiness. Doing all this, the mother does not calculate her sacrifices; the only concern she has throughout her lifetime is to be sure that her children are doing well.

When a child achieves something, no matter how small or big it is, the mother will be much happier than the achiever themselves. In other relationships there may exist jealousy, competition, revenge, hatred or calculations but in a mother-child relationship such bitter aspects rarely get any room.

The depth of unconditional love is very profound and to love unconditionally one must really have an open heart which does not count anything but love. Especially, in this materialistic world a majority of people care for their own comfort first; the common practice of “give and take”. How does unconditional love sustain in such a selfish situation where more emphasis is only on taking? So, except for a mother, another person hardly has the capacity to love unconditionally.

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, May 11, 2018 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired ]

Bliss Or Curse?

I was staring at the cover page of a journal where it was written “Peer Reviewed International Journal”. I talked to myself excitedly, “Hmm…Even in Nepal, they’ve started publishing a journal of international standard. It is a good sign…” 

My excitement vanished as soon as I decided to read the very first article. I was disappointed because the peer reviewers’ names were published with all their professional details as if publicising them was a matter of great pride. What sort of peer-reviewed international journal does that anyway?

As far as I am concerned, usually the reviewers do not know who the author of the article is, so that the article succeeds or fails on its own merit, not the reputation of the writer. In the same way, the reviewers’ identity will also not be disclosed to the author so that the latter will not influence the former in any way. Maintaining this sort of confidentiality leads to unbiased and fair evaluation of the article in question. 

In the case of open-access journals, however, “open peer review” systems are gradually growing in popularity where identities of authors and reviewers are mutually disclosed and sometimes reviews are also published alongside the published articles as Roger Watson indicates in his article “Exploring the Peer Review Process.” This system is not commonly used though, and the journal in my hands was not that sophisticated. So, I do not think they had made informed decisions to use open peer review system; even if they had, the articles contained only the reviewers’ names, not their reviews.

Considering this I could conclude that the journal had only picked up the terms “International Journal” and “Peer Review” but may not have had enough research to explore the seriousness of these terms. As a result, the journal could not do justice to the process of peer review or international standards.

In most of the cases, ignorance may be bliss or even if you do not know something it does not harm you. In contrast, in other situations, the same ignorance turns to be a curse. Journal article means to be written by an expert and for experts, so it is supposed to be as flawless as possible. To overcome all possible mistakes a detailed guideline is given to the authors to follow while writing the articles. Once they submit, first the journal editors review their article, then only they assign the reviewers for peer review who will closely read the article following guidelines given by the journal.

All in all, to get published in an international peer-reviewed journal does not happen that easily; and not to know about the entire process is a curse for those who are involved in publishing scholarly journals and contributing articles to them.

If they continue to publish such journals only for name’s sake it will be meaningless and valueless. Due to being unreliable and untrustworthy, the broader research community will not accept them either as “International” or “Peer-reviewed.” The authors should also not submit their articles to such journals that may devalue their otherwise precious research and submission may end up hindering the advancement of their careers as well.

(Published in an English Daily The Rising Nepal on Friday, May 4, 2018 ) 

[The pictures on this blog are posted here with permission from their owners or have been gathered from various sources on the Internet. If you are the copyright-holder to any of the photographs herein do not hesitate to contact me. They will be swiftly removed if desired ]